


When the night falls

by fleurdesaison



Series: Songbook [1]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M, You have to squint hard for Yadong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurdesaison/pseuds/fleurdesaison
Summary: After breaking up both Woohyun and Sunggyu don't know how to move on.





	When the night falls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shuensha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuensha/gifts).

> This is based on the song A noite by Tiê and the lyrics at the end were translated and slightly modified to fit the story.  
You can listen to it here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ngn3fZIK2E  
Aside 'A noite', songs that helped me with the mood: News - Dongwoo, Jung Key and Wheein - Anymore.

April.

  
He left work early, he drank to celebrate that the song he worked so dutifully on reaching number one in the charts and then he watched everybody leave for their families one by one until he finally accepted it was time for him to go back to his empty apartment. Woohyun just knew it: today was one of those days when, despite being shitfaced, he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep even if he tried.

Woohyun didn’t know if that had something to do with the fact that today was April 28th -maybe it wasn’t even April, 28th- but everyday just seemed to be and that was a date he couldn’t forget. It wasn’t exactly because he had some life-changing moment that should be remembered - although in the past he would probably celebrate  ** _his_ ** birthday - but now April 28 served as a reminder of something that should have been but somehow lost its direction and was no longer.

He tried to eat last night's dinner leftovers and then take a bath. He wasn’t expecting to sober up with that, he was already sober enough only by remembering  ** _him. _ ** He dragged his feet towards the bed that had been empty for a while now and laid in it to try to sleep but he just knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thoughts of  ** _him_ ** invading his mind, especially when he didn’t exactly find bad memories to put the blame on or work on some excuse.

As soon as he closed his eyes Sunggyu’s image came back to him vividly. The small eyes, the caramel hair, the kind smile with that golden tooth in the back, the hand with long fingers that Woohyun used to kiss and his cologne… it was almost as if Woohyun could scent it. He turned around and searched for a better position to sleep, in the hopes that it would help dissolve Sunggyu’s image from his mind but he should have known better.

After Sunggyu’s image was fully formed, the memories came back as if they were a movie: their first encounter, their first kiss, the picnics in the park with mutual friends where they would sing and play to entertain them, the first night they made love, the night he moved in, their first Christmas together, that evening Hoya announced he wouldn’t renew his contract and they had to take turns to console Dongwoo.

Woohyun turned in bed again only to pat his bedside table in search for the remote and then he turned the TV in his room on just because Sunggyu used to hate whenever he did that. The news was up and a racy drama was also airing on another channel, but Woohyun hadn’t the mood for both. He kept skipping channels until he found a seemingly harmless thing to watch. It was a rerun from one of those varieties where random singers were chosen and they had to work on a project song aside other quests. 

Five minutes into it and Woohyun could say he was getting almost distracted, but then a small-eyed guy with an oversized ET hoodie entered the scene. At first, Woohyun gasped in surprise and his heart beat faster as he recognized Sunggyu. The elder didn’t have caramel hair anymore and sported a deep brown color underneath that cap, but he didn’t exactly look different from the last time Woohyun saw him. 

Sunggyu tried to be playful and easygoing while evaluating the girls singing, but his eyes seemed more serious and maybe sadder - Woohyun couldn’t tell just from looking at the TV - but his witty side and big heart were still shown as Sunggyu delivered criticism without hurting the girls’ pride. Woohyun heart beat even quicker- that was still his Sunggyu.

He turned the TV off and moved back to the living room with his back bent and shoulders slumped in order to look for his phone, then paced back and forth in front of the big mirror there as he searched for Sunggyu’s contact. He stopped in his tracks the moment he found it and then he looked at his own eyes in the mirror as he hesitated. He knew Sunggyu’s contact was still the same because Hoya told him, but should he call? What if Sunggyu was sleeping after a long day of work? What if Sunggyu, instead of sleeping, was locked in his own studio working on a new song? Worst of all, what if Sunggyu had moved on? 

A few seconds later he felt and saw his eyes sting with tears as he came to the conclusion that the answer to his last question would probably do him more harm than good. He threw his phone back on the couch then moved to the room-turned-studio so he could work. On those nights he remembered Sunggyu too much, writing his songs was the best thing to do. 

He turned his equipment on, set the recorder then breathed deeply and opened Sunggyu old diary - that he somehow managed to keep after their break up and that was always near in moments like these - to read what the elder once wrote about him (in verses because even Sunggyu innermost feelings were written like that). Maybe it was about time to write about his own innermost feelings too.

Woohyun sat at the keyboard and his short fingers moved skillfully on the keys, creating a melody for his feelings, because tonight would be one of  ** _those _ ** nights. After a few minutes, Woohyun stopped the recording and grabbed a pen to write on the said diary.

When the night falls.

___________________________________________________

Late August.

  
Before gaining respect in this industry, Woohyun met a lot of people and that’s how they often described what he should be going through whenever someone was listening to his work: “The worst part of this job is sitting still while you wait for others to decide if your work is worth being released. It is more nerve wracking to watch them decide if it is good enough to compete with the amazing work and talent from other producers and singers as a title song”. To tell the truth, he used to feel like that when he began his career as a producer/songwriter, but he wasn't able to feel like that since he parted ways with Sunggyu. 

As said before, he was supposed to feel a bit nervous while people played the songs he worked - composing/ writing, producing and even singing the guide - one by one, but he could only blankly stare at the two in front of him and reminisce about the past. Back then he needed Sunggyu by his side to give him some assurance- now he didn’t need that, but he wanted, not the assurance, just Sunggyu with him again. He could agree that the past April made that wish more obvious for him and since then he started to become more dazed whenever a meeting like this happened, but who cared about what they would choose to be the title song when Sunggyu wasn’t by his side anymore?

“You have a lot of good songs Woohyun shi.” Myungsoo, a singer, complimented and Woohyun came out of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” Woohyun managed to offer a kind smile. “Is there any of them that caught your interest for your next album?” He asked as he looked from Myungsoo to the one beside him because despite being in the industry for a long time already, he didn’t take any decision without Sungyeol’s opinion. Sungyeol, on the other hand, had been the singer’s manager in his previous company and he was the only managing the singer’s career. Oh, they were boyfriends, but only a few people knew that.

“There is a couple.” Sungyeol said with a smile. “But as you know, Myungsoo is recovering from an injury in his knee so he can’t exactly dance so soon. We were thinking about a digital single so he can promote faster but without bigger expectations.”

Woohyun sighed discreetly but decided to keep the smile, it was gonna be his first work with Myungsoo but the guy had made a name for himself that could be good for his business. “What kind of music are you thinking about? If it is not one of those I showed you, I’m sure we can still figure something out for a fall release.”

Myungsoo turned to his lover. “What about the one before the last we heard? We can call Sungjong to play piano and I can do the guitar live.”

Sungyeol tapped his lips as he thought about Myungsoo suggestion then he smiled. “It also seems a bit apologetic, we can tell it is for the fans.”

“Then I want to sing this one.” Myungsoo said with a pleased smile on his face and Sungyeol turned to look at Woohyun.

“We are getting…” He looked at the name of the song again to remember the title. “...‘When night falls’.” The producer felt his hands sweaty and he gulped hard, the song was there just because all of his songs were always kept in the same place but he didn’t think anyone would choose that one- after all, these were his feelings. “What’s the problem Woohyun shi, have you promised this song to another artist?” Sungyeol inquired when he saw Woohyun in a slightly frozen state.

Woohyun forced a smile as he wiped his sweaty hands on his pants underneath the table. “No way, it’s just that this song has been rejected sometimes.” He lied bluntly and cursed.

___________________________________________________

Early September.

  
Woohyun pressed a button to communicate with Myungsoo inside the recording booth in his studio. “Again, from the beginning, put more feeling in it this time.” Woohyun scolded, Myungsoo wasn’t a bad singer, he was far from it, but there was always something wrong with him and this song.

“What did I do wrong this time?” Myungsoo asked from inside, already getting a bit frustrated.

Woohyun hit the button again to reply. “You’re having difficulties to put emotion, pronounce some words at the same time and your breath is coming out weird.” The moment he let go of the button, Myungsoo sighed and someone behind him snorted and Woohyun turned his chair only to see Sungyeol crossing his arms and glaring at him.

“We both know it’s not that, you’re clearly picking on him. He already sang this song in all ways possible, he could have ended this recording about two hours ago, I’m starting to think you didn’t want us to have this song.” Sungyeol complained and Woohyun eyes squinted.

“I’m not picking on him, you’re saying this because he is your boyfriend and you were probably expecting to leave here and go on some date.” Woohyun said, maybe showing he was bitter about that, then he turned his chair again before he gave Sungyeol the last blow. “Besides, you know nothing about production, there is something missing here.”

“Then for the love of God, give him a five-minute break, what is the use of trying this hard if he is a try away from getting hoarse.” Sungyeol complained.

Woohyun sighed but relented and tapped the button again. “It’s better if you have a break and drink some water, we will continue in a bit.”

Myungsoo thanked the gods, put the lyrics and his headphones away and came out of the booth just to go sit straight beside his boyfriend and soon enough they were in their own world. Woohyun looked at them, talking animatedly and discreetly doing skinship as they kept their tights touching, although they didn’t have the courage to kiss and make him the third wheel. Woohyun wanted that, he wanted that again.

Woohyun had to put his hands over his face and make a real effort not to be bothered about the other two or to not run outside the studio to the next bar.

“Are you ok?” Myungsoo asked in concern. Obviously, he was not talking to Sungyeol, there was only one other person in the studio so…

“I’m fine, just… we’ve been trying this all day and I’m close to having a headache.” Woohyun came up with an excuse then sighed and looked at Myungsoo. “Let’s just try one more time.”

“You promised him a break.” Sungyeol glared, hard, but Myungsoo slight slapped his stomach for him to stop and got up to do what he was told.

“Let me try one more time.” Myungsoo said, somehow confident that he would do well this time and wrap up. “Why don’t you go to the café next door and bring us something to eat? I don’t know how long we will take.” He suggested as he directed himself to the recording booth.

“Argh, fine.” Sungyeol begrudgingly got up and Woohyun sighed, watching Sungyeol go out, before he turned and tapped on the button to communicate with Myungsoo, who was all set again.

“Ok, we will try again in 3… 2…”

“Wait.” Myungsoo pleaded. “Woohyun shi, can you come here and explain this part again.” 

Woohyun sighed and moved to enter the booth Myungsoo was in.

“Pay attention, I’m gonna sing the way I want you to do it.”

Woohyun took about two seconds to take a breath and imagine Sunggyu in front of him before he sang the entire song. When he was done Myungsoo had his eyes watering just from hearing him singing.

"Why does it feel too personal when you're the one singing?" The singer asked as he wiped his tears, so Woohyun avoided the younger’s gaze and shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"It's my own story." He confessed. "I wrote thinking about my relationship with this guy.... and things that I feel but I could never say."

Of course Myungsoo didn't even blink when Woohyun said it was about a guy, but he gasped because Woohyun said ‘he could never say’. “Is he dead?” 

Woohyun squinted his eyes when he looked back at the singer. “No, he is perfectly fine.” He assured then looked at the ground. “I just don’t know how to talk to him or if I should… it’s been some time.”

“Of course you know how to, didn’t you write this song?” Myungsoo asked and discreetly sat on the only bench available. “You shouldn’t have sold this song to me.”

Woohyun pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate stress. “I didn’t know someone would really want it, but in the end I still need to make a living, so don’t worry about that.”

“But you should be the one singing it to be able to tell him how you feel.” Myungsoo insisted. 

“Then help me convey the message: you sing it and then I’ll tell someone to make him listen.” Woohyun begged, at this point he just wanted to convince Myungsoo to sing so he could wrap it up as his headache seemed real and ready to start at any point now.

Myungsoo looked at him as if he wanted to help but wasn’t sure. “I don’t know, when I sing it feels like I’m sending a different message.”

Woohyun rubbed his hands over his face then grabbed Myungsoo by his shoulders. “Of course you can, just… just imagine Sungyeol shi, you love him, you’d do anything for him, right?  Now imagine that out of nowhere your relationship feels weird. You both don’t know what to do and then you break up so you won’t hurt more but you still love him and as time passes you don’t know what's the best thing to do and you don’t know if he moved on. How do you think you would feel?”

“It would be devastating.” Myungsoo admitted with a heavy and sad sigh.

“Yes, it is!” Woohyun confirmed, and despite having a sad feeling he was cheering up because Myungsoo seemed to be ready to do it right this time around. “Hold on this feeling for a second, you totally can do this.” He was about to leave when he remembered something. “Wait a minute, you were sitting this whole time?” Woohyun turned around to inquire as he pointed to a bench underneath the singer, he didn’t notice if the guy was sitting because Myungsoo standing had the same height as he had when he was sitting on that specific bench.

“Yeah, I’m still recovering from my knee injury so I can’t stand for hours on a roll.” Myungsoo awkwardly explained.

“That’s why your breathing is messed up, you have to sing while you stand so you can control your diaphragm better and deliver the notes correctly.” Woohyun scolded and Myungsoo quickly climbed down the bench. “Can you do it once as you stand on your feet?”

“I think so, if it’s just one time.” 

“Then let’s try one more time, if it doesn’t work this time we continue tomorrow ok?” He closed the door of the booth and sat on the chair before he hit the button again. “Again in 3...2...1…”

Myungsoo tried singing again and Woohyun couldn’t say that the guy hadn’t tried hard, nor that he delivered the feeling incorrectly. He did a marvelous take, perfect from the beginning to the end, there were only minor adjustments, harmonies in the last chorus and the mixing left to do now. They both listened to the song, Myungsoo quickly wrapped up the harmonies and he was coming out from the booth when Sungyeol opened the door.

“Ok, there wasn’t much to eat, so I bought a chocobread and some cups of coffee for us.” The tall manager entered the studio holding a few bags in his hands only to see Woohyun and Myungsoo smiling pretty satisfied. “What happened here?” He asked as he noticed Myungsoo was sitting on the couch behind Woohyun.

“Nothing, I’m finished here.” Myungsoo smiled showing his dimples.

“Oh, let me hear.” Sungyeol happily pleaded.

“No, Myungsoo is done, I still have work to do.” Woohyun scolded. “I’ll send you as soon as it’s ready, it should be done by the end of the week, I’ll call you.”

Sungyeol placed everything he bought near Woohyun then looked at his watch. “Hey, we can still have some dinner.” Sungyeol offered and Woohyun looked at him bitterly, a thing that the taller didn’t notice but made Myungsoo feel torn between guilt and happiness.

“Soon you’ll also have that Woohyun-shi, he will listen to your message.” Myungsoo tried to assure him as Sungyeol tried to pull him out of the studio.

“Fighting!” Woohyun replied with the same hand motion but once Myungsoo closed the door he saved the files and placed his head over the equipment, he only wanted to cry, the message could be delivered if Sunggyu actually bothered to listen to work that wasn’t his, but would he? Also… would he like it and understand if he heard the message in the voice of someone else?

___________________________________________________

Early October.

Sunggyu sat in the empty room as he waited for the one he would have a meeting with. He loved this particular singer/rapper to bits but he wasn't particularly excited to see him. It was not exactly like Sunggyu hated to work with Dongwoo, not at all. What bothered him was that Dongwoo made him unconsciously remember a few things he wanted to forget. Actually, Dongwoo made him remember a person he desperately wanted to forget but couldn’t, and he was always left thinking about what if’s.

“Hyung!” Dongwoo shrieked once he saw him and bounced happily to give him a hug and a pat on his butt, which at this point Sunggyu was already used.

“Hi Dongwoo, heard you need me.” Sunggyu greeted.

“Yeah, desperately.” Dongwoo nodded away as he pulled a seat and both sat down. “The boss told me I could produce my own album before going to the army but he said I’m taking too long so you’ll need to supervise me.” The rapper quickly explained. “I hope I won’t be too much of a pain to you.”

“Nonsense, let’s finish this.” Sunggyu said with determination.

“Ok, so the album will be called Bye, but not like a definitive bye, but, you know...” Dongwoo started to rant everything he had thought about the concept and all the songs he had been listening to that were so good that he had trouble choosing and Sunggyu mind wandered far far away from his friend’s album.

Sunggyu had been a freelance producer for two or three years already before he met Infinite H (that's Dongwoo and Hoya before Hoya left the company) when he was called to produce a song for their debut album _ .  _ Hoya wanted to write his own song, the company didn't agree just because he didn't have the skills, but gave him a free pass if he were to work with people who knew what they were doing. Hoya saw this opportunity to call his friend, an upcoming producer, and that’s when Sunggyu met Woohyun.

The four of them worked together in a process that was very collaborative (unexpectedly Dongwoo and Hoya knew more about writing than what they let on) and even if they didn’t expect too much from their first album, it was (sometime later) awarded as the album of the year.

Working together was different from what Sunggyu was used to while working as a freelance producer, the usual lonely process was filled with laughter and the four of them grew close. After Dongwoo and Hoya’s work was done with vocals and only technical stuff was left, Sunggyu and Woohyun became even more close.

At first, Sunggyu invited Woohyun to work together on his next project and once, when they were producing an album for Kara together, they were already dating by the time they were finished.

The next years, Sunggyu and Woohyun relationship flourished. Sunggyu introduced Woohyun to all of his friends (celebrities or not, influential or not), family and coworkers, they had dates in the café near Sunggyu studio or Woohyun would bring food so they could eat while working.

Woohyun used to butt in on his business a lot too. They had worked together for Infinite H and it was nice but Sunggyu caught himself listening to Woohyu’s advice even more and at some point, Woohyun wasn’t giving commissioned help anymore, but equally participating in the process.

They opened their own music production company and produced songs of every kind from Pop to Rock, from EDM to R&B, from Jazz to songs for CF. Their chemistry was so great that they got noticed and soon enough a lot of people wanted them to produce songs and albums, well, maybe being awarded with Album of the Year with Infinite H might have played a part in that. They were in love, they were happy, they were making money, their business was growing and they were hiring people. Sunggyu was in such a blissful state that he honestly didn’t know where their break up came from.

Sunggyu sighed as he thought about the why-s and what if-s but he never got to ask, he just let Woohyun go and everything they lived together as a couple and as business partners ended up with a solemn statement.

_ “As for today, RFPT will no longer operate as one team. We will keep the mutual respect and cheer each of us on our new journey as we experiment with new sounds and styles. Finally, as people from RFPT part ways, we ask you for your kindest comprehension and interest in our future songs. To all of our partners and fans, thank you.” _

After that Sunggyu set up RedFox, Woohyun set up PassionTree, each of them with half of their former employee’s but that statement was a lie, Sunggyu never had the courage to even check on Woohyun songs every now and then. Reminding himself of Woohyun like that always made him feel like he was dying.

“... But even if I promote with double title tracks, it is so hard to choose, what do I dooo~?.” Dongwoo finally finished his ramble after god knows how long, then leaned on the chair in a defeated manner only to discover Sunggyu brain was nowhere with him. Dongwoo sighed, he knew he caused that effect on some people but in Sunggyu case it was probably because he was often associated with Woohyun. “Hyung, you there?” He asked as he snapped his fingers in front of his hyung face.

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Sunggyu replied with flushing cheeks as he got caught blanking out on their conversation. “I was just… I was just…”

Dongwoo smiled kindly. “It’s ok, I know I talk too much, but maybe it would be better if you returned to your body now so you can help me.”

“Ok, so hear me out.” Sunggyu said as he straightened himself on his chair. “I don’t know if it will fit what you’re thinking but I have News for you.” He said as he pulled his bag and was searching for his phone in it.

“Which news?” Dongwoo asked as he squinted his eyes in suspicion. “Good? Bad?”

“No silly, I wrote a song called News for you, for some time already, and I want you to have it. It’s just your style although there is quite the amount of singing too.” Sunggyu offered after a light shove on Dongwoo shoulder.

“Oh, now I get it.” Dongwoo slapped his hands together in excitement. “Do you have it here? Can I listen to it?”

“Of course, but I didn’t made the guide for the raps ok?.” Sunggyu said and pulled his phone out of his pocket to find the song, Woohyun was still his wallpaper after years, who he wanted to fool? He was not trying to forget him at all, he just thought about Woohyun more whenever he met Dongwoo or Hoya because these two were friends in common.

Dongwoo listened to it attentively, feeling the rhythm and already experimenting some hand movements for the sexy choreo he would create. As for the lyrics, Sunggyu didn’t think Dongwoo was paying attention but the rapper was, so he got quiet and was about to ask if the elder wrote this song about Hoya deciding to leave their duo but when the chorus hit he knew it was nothing like that. That was about Woohyun, it totally was.

“So, what do you think? I bet you can do some sexy moves with that melody.” Sunggyu offered and Dongwoo sighed.

“Yeah, the song is great, but…” Dongwoo stopped to see how he should put his words but at the end decided to go with the simplest question. “...this is about him, isn’t?” Dongwoo asked as he looked seriously to 

Sunggyu froze but forced a smile. “It is not about Hoya, why would I write you a song about him? You guys are doing great and there are no hard feelings anymore, right?”

“Exactly, this is why this song is about Woohyun.” Dongwoo pointed out. 

Sunggyu wanted to say that his song wasn't about the said guy, that he was (like always) trying to forget Woohyun, that this time maybe he would and all, but he didn’t think Dongwoo’s hard stare would allow him to try to lie. He settled for leaning back into his chair and avoiding his friend's gaze.

“Hyung, you still love him, right?”

“He is a motherfucker hard to forget.” He admitted after some time in silence being scrutinized by his friend

Dongwoo stretched an amused smile. “Have you ever really tried to do that?”

“It is hard, ok?” Sunggyu mildly snapped out of frustration. “I don’t even know what drove us into breaking up, everything was great and then suddenly he said he wanted to break up. And I let him go because when one doesn’t want, trying to hold the person back would only make both miserable but I couldn’t even see a crisis happening.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t because Hoya and I split?” Dongwoo asked cautiously only for Sunggyu to snort so the rapper flusteredly explained his theory. “It makes complete sense hyung, after Hoya left the first thing he did was to ask Woohyun to produce his album. Have you two fought because of that? Were you jealous? Did you feel betrayed for my sake or something?”

Sunggyu snorted. “No~, we all knew Hoya’s problem was not with any of us and this is why we all stayed friends behind the scenes. Besides, Hoya and Woohyun knew each other since childhood, it was obvious to me he would ask for Woohyun’s help only. In the end Woohyun was beaming and I was happy for him.”

Dongwoo squinted his eyes. “Really?”

“Of course, Woohyun was never my assistant so it was about time for him to produce things alone as well. Besides, you know how vindictive Woollim is, so if we split the work we could still milk money from both you and Hoya, we make a living out of that, remember?” This time Sunggyu asked as he glared hard at Dongwoo.

“I know, I know all of that but if you weren’t jealous…” Dongwoo rambled as he thought then stopped to look at Sunggyu. “Let’s try this again, when did things start to feel different?”

“I don’t know.” Sunggyu shrugged. “At some point I felt like we grew different even in the way we produce, so maybe it didn’t make sense for him to stay, personally or professionally, together anymore? I don’t know, we weren’t that explicit when we broke up.” He crossed his arms and snorted. “If I knew I would end up like this, I would be sure to ask more questions.” 

“Like this how?” Dongwoo asked.

“Like thinking about him every fucking second… like eating healthy food because it’s like I hear him nagging at me whenever I’m buying junk food. I’m still listening to all the fucking crap he likes ‘because weird music and details can inspire innovations in our own style’.” He looked everywhere. “I even listen to that aegyo song that I hate because it makes me remember him.” Sunggyu took a break to let out a defeated sigh. “I know he probably moved on but you guys don’t say anything. You guys know that I still love him and miss him like crazy so you don’t want to make me sad. ”

“Actually, we thought it was taboo to talk about one to the other the same way it is taboo to talk about Infinite H for us.” Dongwoo confessed and Sunggyu nodded, at least that was confirmation that those two also didn’t take sides, he figured only that could assure they would stay friends somehow. 

“Maybe it should be taboo.” Sunggyu agreed with Dongwoo then straightened himself in his chair again, he hadn’t any plans to answer the question. “And maybe we should go back to talking about your album.”

“Hyung, so you still love him, right?” Dongwoo carefully asked the obvious and that’s why Sunggyu didn’t want to reply. “Maybe you should just talk again?”

“If you don’t want to record News I have Party Girl, that is an excellent song, and...”Sunggyu did his best to ignore Dongwoo’s questions and not go back to the previous subject but was surprised when the rapper asked him something that had nothing to do with whatever they talked or were supposed to talk. 

“Have you heard about Kim Myungsoo?” The rapper asked.

“No? Should I?” Sunggyu asked still confused and Dongwoo glared.

“Hyung, he is the hobae that recently dropped Woollim as well and became a free agent.” Dongwoo explained and Sunggyu squinted his eyes at him, not understanding.

“Your company never called me to work with him and, even if they did, it is not like I become personal friends with my clients, you and Hoya were a different case. Also, I hardly keep track of people that come and go from this industry, there is so much I can do with my time, so he doesn’t ring a bell.” Sunggyu explained.

“I know.” Dongwoo assured. “It’s just… he and Hoya are about to shoot a drama together and Myungsoo asked career advice of life-after-Woollim, they ended up talking about music and Myungsoo asked him about producers and...”

“Was Hoya advertizing me and my retro style? I thought he would advertise Woohyun, no?” Sunggyu asked as he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“It turns out Myungsoo already knows Woohyun, they worked together recently for a digital single and it stayed number one for 2 weeks.” Dongwoo stated matter of factually and Sunggyu squinted his eyes- of course the subject had to wander back to Woohyun. 

“Congratulations to both of them, now, can we go back to  _ your _ album?” Sunggyu asked irritated, he didn’t know what Dongwoo was aiming for, but he was about to lose his cool, he didn’t want to talk about Woohyun, he came for work and they weren’t working at all.

Dongwoo gently placed a hand on Sunggyu forearm to subdue the elder mood and get his attention. “I think you should listen to Myungsoo latest single.”

“Why? Because it was Woohyun who produced?” Sunggyu asked in disbelief and shook Dongwoo’s hands. “I can’t keep checking his work Dongwoo, I feel like dying because I know I will miss him even more.” Sunggyu explained, almost begging with his tone for the rapper to stop and not make things worse for him.

“Because I think it has some answers for you.” Dongwoo tried to say and Sunggyu had enough.

Eventually, Sunggyu managed to convince Dongwoo’s disperse mind to stop talking about Woohyun and work and they spent some time doing that. Dongwoo’s boss was right, he was all over the place producing things alone and he needed a guide. At the end of the day, Hoya dropped by to visit Dongwoo and maybe check on him, and Sunggyu decided he had enough for today and that he needed to go back home.

“Bye hyung!” Dongwoo shouted over his shoulder as he followed Hoya into his car, they would probably spend the night drinking and dancing and uploading some videos on their Instagram that would make Infinite H fans go crazy. “Don’t forget to check Myungsoo latest single.” Dongwoo made sure to add.

“Shut up.” Sunggyu shouted back as he came close to his car.

Hoya to stopped in his tracks and looked at him. “Hyung, you really should. The song is...” 

“I said shut up Hoya!” Sunggyu insisted as he got inside the car and locked the door but Hoya just bent and knocked on the passenger window until the producer opened. “What?”

“Things can be different but still be great.” Hoya moved his eyes to the side where Dongwoo was supposed to be somewhere behind him and on the other side of his car.

Sunggyu squinted his eyes, of course Hoya was talking about Dongwoo. Sunggyu didn’t know if the younger was talking about friendship or if they had more going on (that Sunggyu didn’t want to know about because it wasn’t his business), but it was clear that Hoya was using it as a metaphor for his past relationship with Woohyun as well. He hated Hoya for that and almost closed the window on his hand before he sped up.

_________________________________________________

Late October

Sunggyu tried everything in his power to not get curious. He continued to film his participation on that variety, worked on the girls’ song and then he tried to make Dongwoo focus (that was the hardest part) and he could already predict that he would probably spend a lot of time with his rapper friend until the album was ready. If he didn’t bring work home, he would probably not listen to any music to not give in to temptation or he would probably enjoy to play/listen to some classical music. If he was really desperate, he would beg to babysit his nephew, little Yoonho knew how to keep him busy.

Everything was working and he survived for a couple of weeks until his sister asked for a ride to bring Yoonho to the doctor. It was a simple task, he just needed to pick them up and drop them in the hospital near his studio, but who in the world thought his sister would want to play baby shark for the boy? Who would guess that when she disconnected her phone the radio would be playing Sentimental (a song he worked from beginning to end) and there was no way he would turn anything off if his song was playing? How could he even foresee that once Sentimental was over the radio would play Myungsoo/Woohyun song?

He was driving when the melancholic piano started and within five seconds he already knew he had to pull over to pay attention, because now that he started he probably wouldn’t be able to do anything else until he listened to the full song. The intro wasn’t long, which was different from how Sunggyu remembered Woohyun writing his songs, but the piano was already hitting his heart before Myungsoo started to sing in a breathy and soft way.

Words are not enough, I can’t understand

I only have this fear that never stops growing 

Our history grew complicated and we don’t know why

What’s the weight of the blame I carry in my arms?

It bends my back and it makes me so tired

The time was mean to us and we grew apart

When the night falls and I just can’t sleep

My heart beats faster but you’re not here

I change positions in my bed, I turn the TV on

I look at my eyes in the mirror but I can’t ever call you.

By the time the chorus came, guitar sounds were identified and if the melody wasn't already messing Sunggyu's feelings, the guitar made him feel incredibly lonely as he related to what was being said because he felt like that frequently.

I wanted you so much, but it wasn't enough

And closeness was both a blessing and a curse 

I lost myself in between reality and imagination

I rewrote my memories, I tried growing my hair 

But all my songs are still about you

Not even time apart erased everything I feel.

I told you so many secrets that they stopped being only mine

They became lyrics in that old diary that one day was yours.

Between words not said, so many words of love

My love still grows and the time never really erased it.

Was Woohyun invading his thoughts in new ways? Like, mind-reading ways? Because he also didn’t feel like he was whole without Woohyun by his side. Sunggyu missed him so much that he often wrote about him, explicitly (and the greatest majority he kept to himself in a new diary) or used some memory to get in the mood to write his own lyrics (those were the ones he sold). Woohyun was right though, they loved each other too much, but left too many things unsaid that hindered any possible attempt of working out, but, even so, there they were, still loving each other.

When the night falls and I just can’t sleep

My heart beats faster but you’re not here

I change positions in my bed, I turn the TV on

I look at my eyes in the mirror but I can’t ever call you.

I can’t ever call you.

I can’t ever call you.

Myungsoo voice faded and soon enough the piano was fading so Sunggyu promptly turned off the radio so he could think about what to do. He quickly searched on his phone for all the technical details about the song and, as he just expected, it was Woohyun that worked almost alone in it, which meant that those lyrics came out of him and the melody was perfectly adjusted to enhance the feelings of regret and loneliness in the song.

Without another thought, Sunggyu connected his phone to the car then took off on the opposite way he was supposed to go. Someone clearly needed to take the first step and if Woohyun couldn't, he would be the one taking it. Things couldn't stay like that if they both were feeling this way, right? Also he regretted just accepting things and letting Woohyun go easily and if there was really a chance to get back together, or at least have some answers, he would take it.

"Ok, call Hoya." He said aloud and hoped Hoya had the time to pick up his call, he wasn't up to answering Dongwoo's questions or listening to his advice and Hoya was a straightforward person so he would probably get Woohyun new address without much probing. It took a few tries but Hoya was able to pick his phone. 

"What's up, hyung? Sorry for taking some time I was doing some drama reading for the next few episodes." Hoya apologized.

"It's fine, I don't care, just give me Woohyun’s new address." Sunggyu asked as he tried to recompose himself.

"You listened to Myungsoo latest song?" Hoya asked and took a moment to talk to someone else.  _ "Yes, he listened." _

"Hoya, Woohyun’s address!" Sunggyu hissed, he didn’t want to bother about whoever was beside his friend at the moment but if he would guess, he thought it was Myungsoo.

Hoya wasn’t much for probing but there was a part of him that liked to annoy Sunggyu. “I can give you, but at this time he might not be there.”

“URGHHHH, HOYA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, WE GAVE YOU ALBUM OF THE YEAR AND CONSOLED DONGWOO! ” Sunggyu screamed as he entered another street, if he wasn’t home Woohyun would probably be working, he had a general idea in which neighborhood the younger new studio was but he wasn’t sure about the street. “Where is PassionTree?” He decided to ask gentler, he didn’t want to get too worked up before he reached Woohyun studio.

“You know his mother restaurant? It’s right beside it, and lucky you that he lives in the building across, third floor.” Hoya decided to blurt the information already and then Sunggyu hang up on him, he already had what he wanted.

“Ok, call Namu.” He said aloud, a little embarrassed because he didn’t let go of the nickname (much less the phone number) and the car system automatically searched in his contacts and dialed right away.

Sunggyu was a man that didn’t exactly liked to exercise but if the way he was breathing was any indication, it felt like he was as he drove crazily through the streets, taking all shortcuts possible and speeding up whenever he was sure he wouldn’t be fined. His heart beat faster in fear and anticipation of the call connecting because he wasn’t even sure what he would say, but, to his demise, Woohyun didn’t pick up. 

Sunggyu gritted his teeth and decided to call again. “Ok, call Namu.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woohyun wasn’t sure what time it was but he woke up and he didn’t recommend it. All he wanted was to stay in bed and sleep all day because he was finally able to collapse and sleep for a reasonable amount of time, although it wasn’t enough to catch up on some sleep. Well, his body apparently had other plans, it wanted him awake so he could feel embarrassed again about opening his real feelings and now anyone could listen to it.

As always Woohyun decided it was better to work so he could forget momentarily about that so, after a gasp when he saw the time, he connected his phone on his charger and decided to go for a bath. As soon as locked the door, the light flashed as his phone vibrated over his bedside table.

He came out of his bath a good ten minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist and another one drying his hair while he convinced himself that people wouldn’t mind him if he arrived late one day. “I’m the boss, I can.” He tried to convince himself. “But I shouldn’t, people won’t take me seriously and…” He was about to continue with his monologue inside his room but as soon as he entered it, he heard a faint vibration.

“I hope it is not urgent, I hope it is not urgent.” Woohyun chanted as he walked the little distance while still trying to dry his hair. “Hello?” He took the call without clearly seeing the ID.

“Hello? Woohyun, it’s me.” Woohyun heard Sunggyu voice on the phone and he totally froze because the call he never expected to happen was happening right now and he didn’t know what to say. But, as he heard Sunggyu’s erratic breathing but not a word coming out of his mouth, he decided to take the initiative and do some talking.

“Hey, I thought you didn’t have my number anymore.” He tried to greet happily but that failed epically and Woohyun just seemed awkward and tense. 

“I thought you didn’t want me to have.” Sunggyu said between pants, it seemed like he was exercising. Woohyun doubted that, first because Sunggyu hated it and second because, if the variety was any indication, he didn’t need it.

“Is this a business call? Do you want to work together after so long?” Woohyun hesitantly asked the most logical thing, because Sunggyu wouldn't probably call him to talk about them, right?

“No.” Sunggyu said and then stopped to take a heavy breath. “I just... can you talk right now?”

Woohyun tensed completely, did he want that? Did he not want that? Would he be brave to go for it? How could he dismiss this conversation without showing he was freaking out? Would be ok to take longer to go to work? Fuck it, Dongwoo and Hoya probably pestered the older to listen to the song and Sunggyu ended up giving in, so if the older wanted to talk, for the good or for the bad, he might as well go for it.

“I was supposed to be working... but I guess I still have some time until I reach my studio.” Woohyun said as he redirected himself to his closet to try to get some clothes. As he put on his underwear and pants, he heard Sunggyu moving (and panting) again but not a word was being said and he was honestly confused about that. "I… won't take long to get there so..." He tried to urge the other to say something then put a simple green long-sleeved shirt. 

"I know, you live closer now." Sunggyu retorted out of breath and Woohyun was taken aback a bit, as far as he knew Sunggyu was so immersed in his own work since they broke up, he wasn't sure the elder even knew where PassionTree operated.

Woohyun didn't know what to say and simply moved to grab his keys, he would ask his mother to send some food for him later. "Well, I'm leaving home now, do you- do you want the studio address? Maybe we can meet there?" He hesitated but tried to show he was still up for a conversation.

Sunggyu hadn't said anything back and Woohyun moved to the door while trying to listen closely, he tried to focus on the sounds in the back or basically anything else that gave any indication that the elder was still alive on the other side of the line. 

He grew impatient and was about to hang up when he opened the door, but something he wasn’t expecting happened. He saw a man in front of his door, the guy had his hands on his knees while clumsily trying to hold his phone and was panting to try to catch his breath. He gasped out of shock and the man gulped hard and tried to match eyes only for Woohyun discover Sunggyu’s small but lovable eyes.

“Namu...” Sunggyu said softly and that already had Woohyun emotional. Aside from that, it was evident the elder came running and, knowing that Sunggyu’s nature was against exercise, Woohyun could appreciate the effort.

Still too shocked to say anything, Woohyun opened his door to let the other in. Sunggyu took the hint but instead of passing Woohyun to go inside the apartment, the elder hugged him as he was holding onto his whole life. “Where did we go wrong? I still love you so much.”

A hopeful smile tried to appear on the younger face as he hugged Sunggyu back and pulled him inside the apartment. He could wait to go to work, better yet, he could skip the whole day after all.


End file.
